The Peaceful Parenting Overhaul
“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.”
The majority of us are searching to attain inner peace…self-help books, yoga classes, inspirational life coaches, nutrition programs, etc….all of it shows that on some level we realize much inner work needs to be done so that we can return to a place of peace/happiness/joy. Even those who aren’t knowingly searching are typically self-medicating with foods, stimulants, or another “numbing drug” of choice. But why are we all struggling to get back to a place that is our natural state? How did we become so disconnected? All of us are born vibrating at the highest frequency possible – pure love.
Parents start off with these great intentions to raise their little miracle exactly as they think best. Probably following along the same lines as they were once raised. However, throughout life, we start to develop our own stories through many experiences, heartaches, successes and traumas that shape how we each view the world and where we fit in. We parent from this place of how WE see the world and are essentially imposing our past on our child’s future. This was me, and the limiting beliefs and traditional parenting rules were in full effect, until our little game changer gave us an awakening. Have you heard the saying you are given the child you can learn the most from? It quickly became apparent to this parent that he was his own soul, with his own destiny, and he was here to teach us a thing or two. I’ve realized that by following society’s parenting norms we are unintentionally disconnecting our children from themselves during the most crucial years of self-discovery. It’s deemed acceptable to “train” our children to sleep through the night so they don’t inconvenience our sleep, tell them they need to obey (dictionary translation: follow; conform; comply), speak when spoken to, finish their dinner even if they say they’re no longer hungry, sit quietly at school for much longer than most children’s attention allows, ask permission to use the restroom even when old enough to drive themselves around…you get it. These norms are slowly teaching children to ignore their own internal guidance systems and seek directions on how to be and feel from outside. Layer this on top of the parents’ limiting beliefs, and it’s incredibly hard to maintain alignment with your higher self.
So what did we do about it? Well, we are a co-sleeping, homeschooling, peaceful parenting family where our 5 year-old has more say than most. He is part of the family and his voice is valued. We want him to learn to express himself freely, while mindfully respecting others who have this right as well. We should be teaching our children to honor themselves by speaking on what they love, but also when something doesn’t feel right. Respect their bodies by putting nourishing, life-giving foods into it. (Hello!! When you eat better, you feel better.) We need to get back to allowing them to learn through play. They are children. Children play. Can you recall a favorite childhood memory of carefree imaginative play or dancing around however your body wanted to move? Instant alignment! It’s a form of moving meditation. Teach them that sometimes there will be lessons in life that completely knock you on your ass, and it’s 100% ok to feel those feelings…then teach them the tools of how to pick themselves back up. Listen when they speak, teach them to eat well, teach them meditation or some form of quietly centering themselves. Teach them to enjoy life, play with them, show them how respected and loved they are. And most importantly, allow them to remind YOU that you deserve all of these things for yourself too. If you need help with where to start, Marianne Williamson’s ‘A Course of Miracles’ says: “to teach is to demonstrate.” So replace teach with demonstrate in the sentences above. If every child over the next generation were raised to stay in the energy of love, and when off alignment to quickly come back to this place, then we would have the radical shifts this world desperately needs. We would have adults who know they are LOVE and radiate it out like a beam of light to others. Imagine how well our children will parent.
DISCLAIMER: Peaceful parenting does not mean that every day is a breeze with no meltdowns ever! Extend grace to yourself….You are doing amazing!
Kellie Hart is a wife, mom and so much more. She is currently studying naturopathy and energy management, while pursuing all things magical. You can find her on IG @_blissfullyme_ – or Periscope @blissfullyme.